Yes, You,Too, Can Be Larry Craig's Intern

Some might call this an incredible opportunity. Certainly, Larry Craig does. Others might call it scary.

While I realize we're talking Larry Craig here, and not Mark Foley, that still doesn't give me a warm fuzzy feeling. Yes, Larry Craig is advertising for summer interns. His press release says:

"Interns have the chance to be an essential part of a working congressional office," said Craig. "They participate in the legislative process as well as ensure that constituent services run smoothly. For those interested in politics, it is an incredible opportunity to get a behind-the-scenes look at how our government functions while serving the people of Idaho."

The press release says preference will be given to Idaho applicants attending Idaho schools who are in their junior or senior years of college. I wonder if there's any other way to get preferential treatment.

On this page, Craig indicates he got his start as an intern. Can you be more specific about what you got your start in, Larry?

BTW, he needs a new writer. Or perhaps my mind is just in the gutter. Some of the stuff in the press release is gold for those looking for a way to rib Larry Craig.

• The application deadline is March 15, however if more time is needed for the application process, please contact Senator Craig's office for an extension.
• ... it is an incredible opportunity to get a behind-the-scenes look at how our government functions ...
  
• Interns are paired with staff members based on experience and interests, in order to best utilize their talents.

Just stay out of the restrooms, and you'll be fine.

Is Ralph Nader in Bed with the GOP?

While the title is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, one has to wonder. Sunday on Meet the Press, Ralph Nader announced his candidacy for president.

It's interesting that one of the numbers he used to support his candidacy is a poll by Frank Luntz, a GOP pollster. He says that 80% of Americans would "consider" voting for an Independent candidate this year.

Why is he listening to a GOP pollster? Shouldn't he be listening to an Independent pollster? If I didn't know better, I'd wonder if the GOP put out that number to help Nader make his decision, knowing that Nader will pull voters from the Democrats.

Sure, a lot of what he says may make sense. But he can't win. There is no way he can win. Why waste time and money on this? And let's consider the natural resources he'll use use up in terms of energy and more in this "Green Party" run (and yes, I realize they are not solely about "green" in environmental terms).

I am a practical person. Looking at this bid in those terms, this bid makes absolutely no sense. So why bother?

Is Nader an impractical person? Or is he just in bed with the GOP?

In the 2000 election, when Nader took more than 97,000 votes in Florida. Bush won Florida by just 537 votes. Exit polls show that voters would have gone for Gore 2 - 1 if Nader was not on the ballot. Nader is why we have Bush in office.

Of course, it could also be said it had something to do with the Supreme Court, Katherine Harris, Jeb Bush and others - but without Nader we wouldn't have had to worry about any of that.

The video below shows Nader's announcement. What it doesn't show is what Russert said afterward:

RUSSERT: As you know, Ralph Nader, they'll be Democrats all across the country who are going to find this very disturbing news, and they'll point again to 2000. This was the vote count. Al Gore winning the popular vote, but you've got 2.7 percent, nearly three million votes, in 2000. Then Florida, Florida, Florida. As you remember, George Bush won Florida by 537 votes. You've got 97,488. Democrat after Democrat says to this day, Ralph Nader, if your name had not been on that ballot, Al Gore would've carried Florida. Exit polls show he would've carried Nader voters 2-to-1. Gore would've been president and not George Bush. You, Ralph Nader are responsible for what has happened the last seven years.

NADER: Not, not George Bush? Not the Democrats in Congress? Not the voters who voted for George Bush? But there were Democrats in Florida, 250,000 of them. You know, I wish we'd have Al Gore on this program someday Tim and ask him, "Why did you not become president in 2000?" And I think what he's going to tell you is he thought he did win Florida, but it was taken from him before, during and after the election from Tallahassee. Katherine Bush--you know the secretary of the state...

RUSSERT: Katherine Harris.

NADER: Harris, rather, and Jeb Bush, all the way to that terribly politicized Supreme Court decision.

Yeah, yeah, like I said, without Nader, no worries about the Supreme Court decision. Although Nader goes on to say if the Democrats can't take the election in a landslide, then they ought to fold up shop.

RUSSERT: How would you feel, however, if Ralph Nader's presence on the ballot tilted Florida or Ohio to John McCain and McCain became president, and Barack Obama, the first African-American who had been nominated by the Democratic Party--this is hypothetical--did not become a president and people turned to you and said, "Nader, you've done it again"?

NADER: Not a chance. If the Democrats can't landslide the Republicans this year, they ought to just wrap up, close down, emerge in a different form. You think the American people are going to vote for a pro-war John McCain who almost gives an indication that he's the candidate of perpetual war, perpetual intervention overseas?

What an idiot. I hate to diminish his past accomplishments but - what an idiot. The thing is the GOP plays the fear card and many Americans fall for it, as though the Democrats would say to terrorists "please come here and kill us." How many people have you heard say that security is their number one bullet point? And that only the GOP can give us security (a totally foolish statement).

While Nader is likely not in bed with the GOP, he might as well be. Since this announcement, forums and comments all over the web have been that Nader just gave the election to McCain. Many of those posts came from GOP voters. While that may be an exaggeration, I wish we didn't have to take that chance.

Watch his announcement:

Glitch Changes "Tickle Me, Elmo" to "Threaten Me, Elmo"

Rather than "Tickle Me, Elmo," what we have here is "Threaten Me, Elmo." At least, according to a Tampa Bay, Florida mother.

Melissa Bowman says that since changing the batteries in the Elmo toy which is her 2-year-old son's favorite, the doll has been making death threats, saying "Kill James."

Melissa says that not only does Elmo say "Kill James," her son is repeating the phrase.

I originally thought this was a load of cr*p, because the fact that it knows James' name made it seem like the Twilight Zone. But then I realized this is the "Elmo Knows Your Name" doll. That means that one of the first things you do is program in the name of your child.

Elmo is supposed to know over 100 phrases, but "Kill" doesn't seem like it should be one of them.

On the other hand, perhaps Elmo has met Chucky.

Fisher-Price has offered a voucher for a new doll if the doll is returned to them.

Watch the video:

50th Anniversary of the Peace Symbol

Today, February 21st, is the 50th anniversary of the peace symbol. The iconic symbol was developed in 1958 by Gerald Holtom, a professional designer and artist (as well as a graduate of the Royal College of Arts and conscientious objector) in Great Britain.

It was originally designed specifically for the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament in Great Britain. In fact, the symbol is a combination of the semaphore signals for the letters "N" and "D" - standing for Nuclear Disarmament (as shown).

It was Feb. 21, 1958 when the symbol was accepted by the Direct Action Committee Against Nuclear war. While quickly being used in anti-nuclear protests across Great Britain, it soon spread worldwide, and has since become universally known to represent peace rather than simply nuclear disarmament.

On this 50th anniversary of its adoption, wouldn't it be wonderful to see 50 years of peace, rather than just a symbol?

It's the One Year Anniversary of the "Bald Britney"

Hard to believe it's been a year, but it was a year ago today that Britney Spears walked into Esther’s Haircutting Studio in the Tarzana district of Los Angeles and, after the owner refused to do it, shaved her own head.

Honestly, prior to this, although it seemed Spears was somewhat of a troubled diva in the Lindsay Lohan vein, after this incident, people started to question her mental health. And since then we've seen tons of incidents which seem to indicate she needs some serious psychiatric help.

I hesitate to use the term "Happy" in reference to the anniversary, but it's been a year. Hopefully the year to come does not give us an even worse series of events for Spears.

"Prove You Were Alive Last Year"

Proof of life. This actually happened to the uncle of someone I work with. He's Indian, and his uncle served in the Army. As such, he gets a pension. However, ever year, to continue receiving his pension, he has to submit paperwork proving that he's still living.

While that's one thing, last year he moved to a different area of India. At the beginning of this year, he goes to the proper office and submits his paperwork for this year. But since he moved, was asked to produce paperwork proving he was alive the previous years.

Basically, "prove to me you were alive last year." Of course, the fact that he was standing there ... you would seem to think it was obvious.

I guess to the Indian government it was not.

He had to jump through hoops to get the proper paperwork (hard for a dead person, frankly), but he finally got it all ironed out.

Big Brother to Hit Mississippi Big Eaters

Mississippi legislators want to make it illegal for restaurants to serve obese customers. The bill, HB282, says it is:

An act to prohibit certain food establishments from serving food to any person who is obese, based on criteria prescribed by the state department of health; to direct the department to prepare written materials that describe and explain the criteria for determining whether a person is obese and to provide those materials to the food establishments; to direct the department to monitor the food establishments for compliance with the provisions of this act; and for related purposes.

The bill was introduced in the 2008 Mississippi legislative session on Friday by Representative W.T. Mayhall, Jr. It should be noted that federal health data shows that 2/3 of Mississippi's residents are overweight or obese.

At the same time, the Obesity Action Coalition issued a press release calling for the bill's withdrawal.

"HB 282 is the most blatant form of obesity discrimination. This bill completely perpetuates the negative stigma often associated with obesity. The thought of food establishments holding the power to first, determine the health status of a patron and second, having the ability to refuse service based on the determination of whether or not the patron is 'obese,' is completely outrageous. The OAC is seeking immediate withdrawal of HB 282," said Joseph Nadglowski, Jr., OAC President and CEO.

The bill would allow health inspectors to yank the permit from restaurants that "repeatedly" feeds extremely overweight customers. Chances of passage: likely none.

Fox News Mocks Heath Ledger's Death - Twice

Fox News radio host John Gibson mocked Heath Ledger's death yesterday. On his radio show, he played a clip of the quote, "I wish I knew how to quit you" from Ledger's movie Brokeback Mountain, adding, "Well, he found out how to quit you."

Mocking him further, Gibson played another clip from Brokeback Mountain in which Ledger said, "We’re dead," followed by Gibson's own mocking version of "We’re dead" before playing the audio clip again.

Further, Gibson went back and forth with Tom Sullivan, implying Ledger committed suicide over an issue such as the stock market and the Democratic debate.

GIBSON: Maybe he had a serious position in the market.

TOM SULLIVAN: And possibly today, he looked at the window and said ...

GIBSON: And said, "Oh my God."

SULLIVAN: His name’s not Keith Bledger, right?

GIBSON: He was depressed about yesterday’s downturn in the world stock markets.

Later he said, "I think he watched the Clinton / Obama debate last night. I think he was an Edwards guy, because he saw his Edwards guy was just completely irrelevant. Good looking, wears a suit well, but should just leave the stage."

Listen to the first audio clip here.
If I run out of bandwidth (and I probably will) download from here.

Today Gibson defended himself from criticism over yesterday's show, saying:

GIBSON: I mean, I feel bad about his death, but that's no, that's no point ...

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN CLIP: I wish I knew how to quit you.

GIBSON: There's no point in passing up a good joke. I mean, how many months did we live off that line, Brokeback Mountain?

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN CLIP: I wish I knew how to quit you.

ANGRY RICH: Several.

GIBSON: I mean, it was going on for months and months and months.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN CLIP: Wooee, yeah!

GIBSON: I’m not giving that up.

Later, after being told by Angry Rich that he was accused of being a "closet homosexual," Gibson added, "Well, I'm still breathing; there's a difference right there."

Listen to the second audio clip here.
If I run out of bandwidth (and I probably will) download from here.

Mark the Date: One More Year of Bush

In case you've noticed one of the bumper stickers with 1/20/2009 on them, yet aren't sure what they are all about, that will be the Inauguration Day of Bush's successor. In other words, one year from today, "The End."

Just a reminder, though, for those who'd like to see him leave sooner rather than later, let's not forget, this is a Leap Year, right, so he gets 366 days of power.

At any rate, as we close into the end of his Presidency, we also close in on his "end of term" pardons ("Scooter" Libby?) and possibly a strike against Iran, if they (Bush and Cheney) choose to ignore the NIE report before they leave office.

It's the light at the end of the tunnel, but let's remember: the next President could be worse than what we have now (though it's hard to imagine), and depending on who's elected, I might just be moving to Canada.

Astrology Magazine Shuts Down Due to "Unforeseen Circumstances"

Well, you can't get much more ironic than this, can you? The Astrological Magazine has ceased production. According to their website:

We regret to announce that due to unforeseen circumstances beyond our control, the publication of The Astrological Magazine will cease with the December 2007 issue.

My guess is they didn't use astrology to check their business forecast. Or perhaps they were simply bad at it, explaining the demise of the magazine in the first place.

"CheneyCare" Campaign Gathers Steam

Banking on the success of their earlier Iowa ads, which declared that Dick Cheney would be dead if he were "anyone else" and didn't have the publicly-funded health care that our politicians get, the California Nurses Association (CNA) / National Nurses Organizing Committee (NNOC) has launched a new national campaign called "CheneyCare."

In a press release Friday, the group outlined plans for its new campaign, which started with eight New Hampshire papers on Friday and goes national on Monday, in both newspapers and political blogs.

The ad (.PDF) is very similar to the prior ad, but they have a new website, CheneyCare.org, and an online petition they want you to sign. As before the nurses are advocating HR 676, the National Health Insurance Act.

The petition will be given to the 2008 Presidential candidates and members of Congress. The full text is:

I want genuine healthcare reform that guarantees everyone has healthcare coverage, without prohibitive costs , and an end to insurance company denials of needed medical care.

I support HR 676, an expanded and improved Medicare for All. I want the same access to healthcare that Vice President Cheney and all members of Congress now receive.

With regards to the Democratic candidates' proposals on Universal Health Care, the press release says:

CNA/NNOC has been critical of "universal health care" proposals by top Democratic presidential hopefuls Senator Hillary Clinton, Senator Barack Obama and John Edwards, which continue to rely upon the wasteful inclusion of private insurance companies.

As I've said before, the United States is the only industrialized nation that does not have some form of universal health care, and that because of that we are near the bottom in terms of infant mortality (see link above).

As Martin Luther King, Jr. once said,

Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the most shocking and inhumane.

Do any of us deserve less than Cheney?

U.S. Falls to Worst Category in Privacy International Rankings

Privacy International (PI) is a human rights group formed in 1990 as "a watchdog on surveillance and privacy invasions by governments and corporations." It has been doing its global survey on the rankings of privacy protection around the world since 1997.

This year's survey describes "an increasing trend amongst governments to archive data on the geographic, communications and financial records of all their citizens and residents" which leads to the conclusion that "all citizens, regardless of legal status, are under suspicion."

It also describes an "overall worsening of privacy protection across the world, reflecting an increase in surveillance and a declining performance of privacy safeguards."

The lowest ranking countries in the survey continue to be Malaysia, Russia and China. The highest-ranking countries in 2007 are Greece, Romania and Canada.

While Canadian news services crowed about Canada's ranking vs. the United States and the United Kingdom, it should be noted that Canada's ranking moved from "significant safeguards and protections," next to the best category, to "some safeguards but weakened protections," a drop of two categories.

Of course, both the U.S. and U.K. are in the "endemic surveillance societies" category, the worst, and obviously Orwellian in nature. While Malaysia, Russia and China rank at the bottom, they tie at 1.3 (out of 5) while the U.K. is 1.4 and the U.S. is 1.5.

The report also noted that "in terms of statutory protections and privacy enforcement, the U.S. is the worst ranking country in the democratic world."

Greece is top at 3.1 ... once again out of 5, so you can see that privacy protection isn't exactly stellar across the world.

A .PDF version is available here.

SF Zoo Website Expresses Condolences; Awkward Mission Statement Remains

While the investigation into the Christmas Eve tiger mauling continues, the San Francisco Zoo has updated their website with a message of condolence as well as a note indicating that they will most likely re-open on Saturday Dec. 29th.

At the same time, however, it appears they need to update other parts of the website, such as their Mission Statement:

At the San Francisco Zoo, it's our mission to connect people with wildlife, inspire caring for nature and advance conservation action.

Emphasis theirs, BTW.

Meanwhile, there are no major developments in the investigation as yet. As it is raining in the San Francisco Bay Area, some important forensic evidence may have washed away.

It has come to light that when the victim, Carlos Sousa Jr. didn't show up for Christmas dinner, his father called several of his son's friends - including the two brothers injured in the tiger attack that killed the teen - who lied to the father about the teen's whereabouts.

The Dhaliwal brothers, Kulbil and Amritpal, remained in stable condition Thursday. However, reports are that the brothers have been uncooperative in the investigation. What is there to hide, unless the suspicions over taunting the tiger are true?

At the same time, Leo Ferreira, Sousa's 21-year-old half brother, said he did not believe his brother would have taunted the tiger.

Dude, Jesus Hangs 10 in Action Figure Line

Jesus the Surfer. Jesus the Biker. Jesus the Bull Rider (?). And more.

This is the new line of Jesus "action" figures from Fishermen, Inc. Each comes with a crown of thorns, and each has a different message, which you can see as you pan across the home page above. The are as follows:

• Bull Rider: Strength
• Quaterback: Faith
• Biker: Freedom
• Soccer Star: Victory
• Panhandler: Hope
• Surfer: Spirit
• Skateboarder: Youth
• Rock Climber: Life
  

Click the surfer dude above to see most of the line (the rock climber and skateboarder wouldn't fit on his home page). Price varies from $20 - $30.

According to the founder, Eric Dyson, in a message available on his site (but not linkable), the death of his father led him to soulsearching, and God told him "I am always with you," to break through his despondency.

With this message, he says, came a vision of Jesus on a motorcycle riding across the open roads of America. Thus he decided to create this line of figures.

The figures are available at Christian retail stores, but it's apparent from the "Coming Soon" message when you click "Buy Now" at the site, they will soon be available online as well.

Subtle Butt Disposable Gas Neutralizers: $9.95 for Peace of Mind

Yes, this is a genuine product. The company is called Garment Guard, and their products include Garment Guard perspiration protection for your clothes. Their newest product: Subtle Butt.

Each 3.25" square filter has two layers: one made of soft fabric with an antimicrobial treatment, on the side touching the skin. The second layer is activated carbon, which faces the underwear or the pants (for those who go "commando") and has a "vast surface area" for odors to adhere to and get "neutralized." Two adhesive strips hold the Subtle Butt in place.

The price: a mere $9.95 for five pads and peace of mind. Though a "silencer" feature would be a good add-on.

To be honest, I remember seeing a joke commercial on Nickelodeon where they suggested putting a dryer sheet in your pants in case of gas; maybe this company stole / improved on that idea.

BTW, here's a link in case you have a gassy friend you want to email this to.

Un-Merry Christmas to Vick, Cheney, From PETA

Rather than giving Michael Vick a lump of coal in his stocking, PETA has decided to immortalize him in his own holiday e-card. Others they have chosen to give the same honor to include:

• Cold-blooded Colonel Sanders
• Hairy Kate and Trashley: the Olsen Twins
• Pelt Pusher Anna Wintour
• Fur Hag Kate Moss
• Hunter Dick Cheney

Vick paces around a prison yard inside the snow globe, kicking a ball in the air and occasionally being hit on the head with it, to the announcer's comment of "Ooh. That's gonna sting in the morning."

Shake the globe by left-clicking and dragging the mouse and you'll hear sirens and "They got to the quarterback’s blind side there. He never had a chance."

Cheney's is funny too, with Cheney walking around the globe shooting other hunters.

Check out all of them at PETA's site (click image above), and maybe even send one to a friend.

Gonzales Loses ABA's "Lawyer of the Year" Title

The people (or other lawyers) have spoken, and the American Bar Association (ABA) has listened. As I wrote earlier, the ABA named Alberto Gonzales 2007 Lawyer of the Year and Michael Mukasey 2008 Lawyer of the Year. At the time, the explanation was that Gonzales made the most news in 2007, and Mukasey was anticipated to do the same in 2008.

Apparently, and unsurprisingly, lawyers around the country objected to the "Lawyer of the Year" title, and the ABA Journal has retitled the two as "Newsmakers of the Year."

In a post on their site, the ABA said:

We appreciate the feedback we’ve received, and we’re acting on it. So that there can be no confusion, the term “Lawyers of the Year” has been changed in the headline and story to “Newsmakers of the Year.” The story is otherwise unchanged from its original version.

As I said in my previous post, Time Magazine named Hitler "Man of the Year" once,
basically for the same reason (not that I'm comparing them, just the thought process of the ABA Journal).

It didn't really take them long to rethink their original decision, only a couple of days. That must have been one heck of an email / phone / letter-writing campaign by lawyers around the country.

"Death TV": All Death, Mourning, Noon, and Night

At one time a network devoted to cartoons seemed ludicrous. But how about a channel that's all about death? Nothing but obituaries, and some documentaries on cemeteries around the world.

Etos-TV is backed by the German Undertakers' Association (go figure) and is scheduled to start broadcasting early next year. For €2,000 the association of undertakers will gather picture and video material from relatives and help write text for voice-overs, which the station will then broadcast.

Belying the "Death TV" comment I made, besides the obituaries and the cemetery documentaries, the station will also broadcast shows covering issues it thinks will be of interest to its target over-50 audience: keeping mobile in later years, organ donation and coping with bereavement. Certainly isn't going to be a fun-filled set of shows, though.

The station will broadcast daily over the Astra satellite starting next month --- though only 3 hours a day. It also hopes to expand across Europe. All I can say is, just keep it away from my satellite TV company.

"If Cheney Were Anyone Else, He'd Probably Be Dead by Now"

An effective, and to the point full-page ad is appearing in 10 Iowa papers today. The ad (.PDF), while advocating HR 676, the National Health Insurance Act, also points out an inconvenient truth: if Dick Cheney didn't have the government-financed health care he, Bush, and members of Congress enjoy, he'd most likely be dead by now.

(I will make a slight correction to the ad: Cheney is rich, so he could probably afford health care. If Cheney were a middle-class American, on the other hand ...)

Take a look at his history as described in the PDF: four heart attacks, quadruple bypass surgery, angioplasty, an implanted defibrillator and an emergency procedure to treat an irregular heartbeat. Does anyone seriously believe a private insurer would have not either slammed him with impossible to pay rates, or dropped him altogether? Even in a system like Massachusetts', where insurance is mandated, most likely the rates would be impossible.

Let's not forget the United States is the only industrialized nation that does not have some form of universal health care, and that because of that we are near the bottom in terms of infant mortality (see link above).

Why should our government have free health care while the people they represent do not? Health care is not just for the rich, as most other nations know. Of course, health care giants and pharmaceutical companies don't want anything to change.

As Martin Luther King, Jr. once said,

Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the most shocking and inhumane.

Do any of us deserve less than Cheney?

Dana Perino: "What's the Cuban Missile Crisis?"

This is why I love the NPR show, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. This weekend they had White House Press Secretary Dana Perino on during the Not My Job part of the show, and she admitted she didn't know what the Cuban Missile Crisis is.

Unfortunately, as she is appointed, not elected, I can't make a joke about "these are the people we elect?" I could say, "these are the people appointed by the people we elect?"

She indicated last week she was asked about the Cuban Missile Crisis in reference to President Putin's comparison of the U.S. missile defense shield program to the Cuban Missile Crisis. From the show:

"I was panicked a bit because I really know about ... nothing about ... the Cuban Missile Crisis. It had to do with Cuba and missiles, I'm pretty sure."

She admitted he had to ask her husband and he shook his head.

I have to admit she has a decent sense of humor, even about the mortgage hotline goof by Bush last week. She also admitted her husband has told her not to talk to him in her "White House voice." She wouldn't demonstrate the voice for NPR, though.

Unfortunately, she didn't win for her contestant.

You can here the whole segment here; click on Not My Job.